In the Care of Legends: Shobhanaa Bhalachandra on Learning from Her Gurus

I entered slowly into master’s house, taking measured steps. Apprehensive and reluctant, I was put in natyam class against my wishes. I was 7 and my sisters were 8 and 9. I was hiding behind my sisters not wanting to confront anyone. The door opened as Master and Akka stepped out. I quickly hid behind the pillar wanting to escape. Master saw my reluctance and called out to me. I stepped out sheepishly and was greeted with a warm smile. This was the beginning of my Natyam journey.

I have to admit that the initial years were nothing but torture for me. I hated going to class, always finding an excuse to skip classes. Years went by and I was just dancing without any drive or interest. Master and Akka had a tough time training me. There were times when I used to sleep in class and master would carry me home. The kind of patience and love my gurus gave me cannot be put in words. I was not even a bright student, yet they gave me all they could.

What changed my attitude? When did I get interested in natyam and start working hard? I clearly remember the incident which changed my entire life. I had my cousin visiting me on a Sunday and suddenly there was a call from Master to perform in AIR for a visiting central minister. I was livid, but with my Hitler mother what else could I do? I had to give up my play time and go for the performance. Angry and disappointed I went to perform. As expected, I performed badly with a glum face. The very next day Shantha Akka took me aside during class time and with tears in her eyes she asked me why I had such a reluctant attitude towards dancing. She asked me “where have we gone wrong? I was very disappointed with you. After spending so much time and energy if you turn out to be like this, I don’t know what more to say”. Her tears had a profound effect on me and something in me changed. I felt ashamed of my behaviour and hung my head in shame. I retreated silently, thoughts rushing into my head. The whole night I was tossing and turning not knowing what to do.

Next day was a changed day for me. I went to class with a resolution. I stood in the last row and started working hard. It was like learning it new. Every adavu had a different hue to it and I started looking at dance differently. Within a year my improvement was evident. Master and Akka were surprised and even expressed it in so many words.

From then on there was no looking back. I started enjoying natyam and was always eager to learn and perform. Everyday was a class day. I used to spend all my waking hours there be it regular classes, rehearsals, learning master’s new choreographies, teaching younger children, ironing costumes, stitching hooks and buttons or just hanging around. It was a gurukulam, where I learnt not just the art form but also life skills. The countless hours spent there watching them choreograph a small idea into something sparkling was beyond imagination. It always set me thinking and would keep me awake many nights wondering how it would be to choreograph something. Master encouraged us to choreograph small numbers to keep our motivation high. First time he asked us to choreograph a jatheeswararm and what an excitement it was! I learnt at that point, adding lots of things to make it look complicated was always a failure. Through years I realised how to choreograph numbers without clutter. Apart from this I learnt how to teach with clarity and how to break down adavus for better understanding. The generosity with which they gave me this art helped me as a guru in later years. These years in Bharatakalanjali also helped me build strong bonds with my classmates, which continue till date. Their sons Sanjay and Satyajit were the first children I played with. It was joy to see them smile and enjoyed pushing the pram when akka took them on walks.

My gurus not only gave me this art form but were a beacon of light leading me. They were there for everything be it natyam, personal issues or anything under the sun. I looked upon them as my parents and guide. Having never been close to my mother, I developed a bond that many people don’t understand.

The years I spent in Bharatakalanjali were golden days where my attitude towards life and people was honed. I was in awe of them and wanted to emulate them in every step of my life. My gurus have inspired and encouraged me in more ways than one and till date I continue to look upon them as my pillar of support.

My journey took me on another path — Guru Smt.Kalanidhi Narayanan. I joined her at eighteen and started tuning myself to her style of abinaya. Mami, as we used to call her, was a strict teacher but was full of love for her students. Coming under mami opened up a new world for me. Padams javali ashtapadis flooded my notebooks and thoughts. I was drowned in the world of abinaya. I used to live very close to mami’s house and whenever someone cancelled a class, she would call me to find out if I was free to come. I would hurriedly throw a saree on myself, about which she was particular, and run to her house, never wanting to waste the precious times with her. Many times after class, mami would be in a chatty mood. She would recount her days as a young girl and her married life. I used to listen without batting an eyelid. Mami always told me that family should be the priority and natyam can take a back seat till the kids are settled. How true and insightful!! When I see many dancers give up their family and kids for their career, mami’s words echo in my mind. Mami’s classes were always interactive, and we would discuss ideas, and this challenged me to think out of the box. It used to be like winning a gold medal when mami appreciated an idea that I would come up with. Small appreciation made me feel accomplished and satisfied. I always went back home excited to think of new ideas for the next class. Such was my motivation when encouraged. Mami did not teach abinaya but made us think differently and guided us to be thinking dancers.

My performance journey started with my two sisters, Radhika and Gayatri. Together as trio sisters, we performed all over India and abroad. We started getting featured in TV channels and were invited to perform for many prestigious organizations. Dancing as Trio I learnt how to structure the dancing and group coordination came effortlessly. Despite the joys of dancing with my sisters, there was a strong urge to create my own space. I felt claustrophobic and stifled dancing with them. This was when I started doing solo performances, much to the displeasure of my parents and sisters. I was like a bird freed from the cage, and it felt liberating to be on my own. After a while I felt all alone and had no one to turn to. Soon I got over that and emerged strongly as a solo artiste. Till date I enjoy performing by myself, where I can lose myself completely on stage and create a space that is my own.

My natyam journey can be viewed through two prisms- a sishya to my gurus and a guru to my sishyas, both of which have given me immense satisfaction and happiness. My life changed a second time when I started my own school Tharanginee, in Coimbatore, where I was based at that time. I followed all the teachings of my gurus meticulously. Later, I started my own small set up in Chennai and the school grew bigger than I had imagined. My students and their families became my extended family. A teacher for over 45 years, my journey has been very rewarding and satisfying. I am proud of all my students, many of whom have their own institutions and are carrying forward my teachings. My students are spread globally, and I am fortunate to visit their schools to share my teachings with their students as well. Every time I see my students on stage, I feel a part of me in them, making me glow with pride. There is no award greater than watching the students grow into beautiful trees having their own individuality and yet deeply rooted to the teachings. This could not have been achieved but for my gurus, who have showered me with love, affection and given me this beautiful art form.

Today I am the creative and executive director of my Alma Mater, Bharatakalanjali, which I took on three years back. Many wondered why I decided to merge my school with my Alma Mater and give up my identity. How else can I show my gratitude to my gurus who have given me this natyam? No amount of money can compensate their valuable teachings. I am honoured to be running my guru’s institution and excited to work towards my gurus vision of the future. Maybe someday there will be a young hesitant girl who can find her life’s purpose in class, just like I did!