Treasured Wisdom: Dr. Gayatri Kannan on Her Guru, Dr. Padma Subrahmanyam

Gu śabdastvandhakāraḥ syāt ru śabdastannirodhakaḥ |Andhakāranirodhitvāt Gururityabhidhīyate ||

The syllable “Gu” means darkness and ignorance. The syllable ‘Ru’ means eradication of darkness or ignorance. Because of the power to dispel darkness, the ‘Guru’ is thus named.

What has been defined in the above verse has been a practical experience for me throughout my life. My salutations to my Guru, Dr. Padma Subrahmanyam, who has been a beacon light in my life, teaching me not only the art of dance but the art of life too.

My first vague memory of Padhukka (as we all fondly call her), is from when I was five years old. My mother and aunt, Uma and Sundari, were two of Padhukka’s first disciples. I was cast as Bala Meenakshi in Padhukka’s very popular dance production, ‘Meenakshi Kalyanam’, in which my mother was Sundareshwarar. All I remember of those days is that Padhukka used to draw my eyes just like hers and I felt an inexplicable emotion whenever she came near me which I later realised was a sense of awe and respect which grew with me as I was refined and moulded by her at every stage of my life. My journey with Padhukka started from that day and God’s grace, it has been a lifelong gurukula vaasam for me.

I was an awestruck disciple of Padhukka, seeing her dance, sing, compose, choreograph, write and give lectures. My mother being a teaching staff at Nrithyodaya, it was my second home with most of my evenings spent there. Padhukka’s words were ‘Veda Vaak’ for me, to the extent that when I was young, if I refused to eat, my mother would just say that she was going to call Padhukka, and my plate will be empty! This implicit obedience to her words extended even to the choice of my subject for my degree and Ph.D. It was Padhukka’s suggestion that I take up Sanskrit as my main subject.

I was in my late teens when Padhukka made me sing and do nattuvangam for the arangetram of some of our students and later gave me the honour of singing for her which continues to this day. The confidence that she has in her disciples makes us more responsible. Padhukka brings the best out of her students.

Traveling with Padhukka is an experience by itself. To this day wherever she goes, whatever she sees, there is always a research-oriented approach to it. She is always exploring new things and gathering new information. And her interests range from philosophy to history, science to arts, films to literature, archaeology to polity. Neither the scorching sun nor the biting cold will stop her. Her zeal and thirst for knowledge is very inspiring. Her conviction and commitment towards her art form, towards upholding the values of our Sanatana Dharma, towards our Nation are contagious. She always says “I don’t need a rehearsal to speak the truth”. As her disciple I realised that even without her insistence, I emulated all these by my own choice. Padhukka had the habit of making us help her backstage during her programmes. We students took turns and used to help her. Now when I think of it, I realise how much it has helped us gain experience in so many aspects connected with this dance art. This is how she trains her students even without their own knowledge.

In the year 1994, there was a new dimension added to my relationship with Padhukka. I became the daughter-in-law of this illustrious family. I married Kannan, son of Shyamala and Balakrishnan, eldest brother of Padhukka, who became my ‘athai’!! This has only strengthened the bond further and bestowed on me the privilege of being with my guru always. Though as a student I had many opportunities to be with Padhukka when she choreographed or composed music, the advantage of living under the same roof gives me an insight into her thought process. It is a learning experience to watch a concept which is in her mind, bloom into a full-fledged production or a dance number; beginning with the compilation of lyrics, to understanding the meaning, to the music composition and finally the execution of the same in dance. It is fascinating to see how music & dance flow spontaneously from within her. That is the reason why we see her music and dance complimenting each other.

There are a lot of unique features in Padhukka’s music which I feel is mainly because of the fact that she is a dancer and a trained Carnatic vocalist. Like Vaak and Artha (word and its meaning), Padhukka’s music and dance can never stand separately. Her music is in sync with the meaning of the lyrics and her dance is in sync with the music. Many a times we realise that her music alone can express what is meant to be conveyed. The artistic liberties that she takes when compiling from varied literature in varied languages, makes it appealing to the audience. She always says, when interpreting the work of any poet, it is important to stay honest to that poet’s thought process. So, the dancer must get into the mind of the poet to understand the Pratibha of the poet. Her compilation is such that it always has an underlying story line which makes it dramatic for the audience and hence easily understood too. Sattva is not only the substratum for her dance but for her music too.

As a teenager, I first started singing for Padhukka, sitting behind Smt. Shyamala Balakrishnan — Padhukka’s sister-in-law, who sang for her for many years and they were known to be ‘made for each other’. The experience that I gained by just watching Shyamala amma singing for Padhukka is most valuable. I am forever grateful to Shyamala amma, who taught me the nuances of singing for dance. She was an inspiration, who exposed me to the art of emotional singing. Padhukka being a singer herself and trained in Soprano singing, taught me how to modulate my voice, correcting my pronunciation and training me in nattuvangam too. A very meticulous teacher, Padhukka is a task master. When I sing for her, not only myself but the entire orchestra has to be on pins ends. A flick of the hand, raise of an eyebrow or a sideward glance will guide us during the programme. So, I was trained to sing for her without looking at my notebook to refer to the lyrics. She always insisted that to emote through the voice the singer has to connect with the dancer at all times.

A genius and a legend in her field, Padhukka is equally at ease with scholars and with playful kids, with the most pious sanyasi and a common flower vendor on the streets. For a person who has travelled so much all over the world, her strong foothold is in our Bharatiya samskara and never does she compromise on any of the traditional values that she has always taken pride in and followed. Her life is one of a Tapasvi, who has dedicated her life for the propagation of not only the art form of dance but for the values of Sanatana Dharma. She is a Karma yogi, for whom work is worship and dance is life. Her unstinted faith and surrender to Kanchi Mahaswami are her strength which helped her overcome so many hurdles in her journey of life and stick to her convictions.

It is said that a guru chooses the disciple and not vice versa. It is God’s grace that I am blessed with Padhukka as my guru. In a song that Padhukka wrote on Mahaperiyava, she says, ‘Guru paadham panindha evarukkum oru kuraiyum illai, idhu thinnam’ (for one who surrenders at the feet of the guru, there are no complaints in life). I offer the same at the feet of my guru and offer my namaskarams to her. My prayers to Almighty that I should always deserve the blessings of my guru and serve her by upholding the values that she has instilled in me and all her disciples.